Travel Status

In the film I watched Sunday, they made some comment about “letting the airlines go broke” if you couldn’t travel without proper ID (the soon to be rolled out National ID card) when the time comes. Well, I can do you one better.

I haven’t flown since 9/11/2001, because the wife refuses to take me with her when she flies. Apparently she objects to my choice of flight apparel. What is that apparel, you might ask? Flip-flops, hand cuffs, and paper scrubs stenciled “Federal Airline Prisoner”… and nothing else.

I have carried a pocket knife, nail clippers and whatever else I felt was needed, every day of my life, pretty much since the day I first put on pants. I’m not about to give up my essentials just because some jack-booted thug tells me I “can’t carry that in here”.

…At least not without some sort of a show, anyway.

When I’ve said this to people in the past, they generally mouth some words to the effect that “they’re only trying to make the airlines safer”. Let me tell you how to make the airlines safer. The attendant who greets you at the door of the plane asks you a simple question “are you carrying a weapon?” If you answer no, she hands you one to carry (loaded with the proper rounds, of course) for the length of the flight.

…Do you honestly think there will ever be a hijacking under those circumstances? Didn’t think so.


Editor’s note, 2019. The lack of weapons training among Americans combined with the troglodyte intelligence of modern armaphiles makes me think the idea of arming everyone on the plane is a very, very bad idea these days. But I still think that not letting me carry my pocket knife and nail clippers, while at the same time letting me keep my underwear on (underwear bomber? Anyone’s underwear could explode, you know.) ranks at the level of asinine.

I wear plastic sandals boarding and exiting airplanes these days. I can’t count the number of nail clippers and pen knives that the TSA have stolen from me. A set for every flight I’ve been on. Mercifully few of those.

Author: RAnthony

I'm a freethinking, unapologetic liberal. I'm a former CAD guru with an architectural fetish. I'm a happily married father. I'm also a disabled Meniere's sufferer.

One thought on “Travel Status”

  1. Charlieo wrote:
    That seems like a bad idea. It would be fine with a plane full of members of the BBS, but your typical person wouldn’t like being in an enclosed space with 100 gun-carrying strangers.

    The most polite group of 100 people
    ever packed into a flying aluminum tube.

    The suggestion is, of course, a sarcastic response to those people that think disarming everyone is the way to be safe. There is no way to be safe, other than to be dead already. The dead are perfectly safe in any situation.

    Getting on the freeway and driving on a daily basis is the most dangerous activity the average American engages in, and most people do it without a second thought. I’ll never understand the hysteria that surrounds the risks involved in getting in an airplane.

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