Zombie Jesus

Just like every Christmas, a man goes out in his yard and builds a temporary lean-to under which he sets up figures gathered around a birth. However, this Christmas in a small Ohio town, the nativity scene that the nameless man constructed was a little different from most. The neighbors promptly had a conniption fit that spread to the city hall, the police department and code enforcement.

I personally think this is the best nativity scene ever. It perfectly captures the spirit of rising from the dead. In truth, the zombie baby Jesus should be a full-sized zombie Jesus, but I want to give the guy an A for effort. Anyone who dies and then comes back to life is by definition a zombie.

No religion is above mockery or question. If Muhammad was one of the three wise men present at this zombie birth, the reaction from Muslims would be only slightly harsher than the threats that this man has received after unveiling his zombie nativity. Those who are so insecure in their belief that they can’t abide mockery should probably review their own beliefs rather than call for the censorship of others.

The nativity scene is on his property, just like all the other religious displays should be. I have no more problem with this than I do with the rest of the solstice silliness. Less of a problem than the rest of it, because he built the display with his own time and money and all I have to do to avoid it is not drive down his street. His immediate neighbors are the only ones who should be offended because they have to see it each time they leave their houses. They have already secured the only possible recourse, a promise to take the display down immediately following Christmas. Those who are offended will have to settle for that.


It looks like the neighbors were not happy with the cities first response to the zombie nativity, the one requiring him to remove the display promptly after the season ends. I read a few comments from code officials citing fines that have been levied on the property owner for each day the display remains up. The fines were probably for the structure which houses the scene. I could see requiring a permit to construct a semi-permanent structure on his property. Still, I have to wonder how many other nativity scenes in the city are being fined for not getting permits for their structures? Unless there is a Satanist nativity I’d imagine the number would be ’round about none of them.

The city codes are the only codes which apply here, contrary to the arguments offered by others. The law of god is meaningless since there is no way to prove what god would really want as a law concerning commemorations of the birth of his son spawned during his carnal relations with a poor Jewish girl. That particular set of guidelines was not included in the Bible.

None of the ancient religions are free of contradiction on any subject, making their laws useless as meaningful guides to good behavior without accessing our own conscience in order to make judgements. This means that everyone who thinks they know their god’s law really only knows their subjective interpretation of hearsay written down a thousand years ago or more and imperfectly translated multiple times since then. Interpreting god’s law is the world’s longest game of telephone, with the meaning of life supposedly buried somewhere in 2,000 years of noise. We’d be better off accessing our own moral compass directly than attempting to make sense of god’s law.

The value of religion itself is open to question in light of what we have learned about the universe by trying to understand it directly, not interpret it through the traditions handed down by those who came before us.

I treasure my Pastafarianism because it shows just how silly all religions are; and it does this because it was established to be as silly as possible and still fall under the banner of religion. May the blessings of his noodly appendages be upon you.

Question religion. All religions. Freedom is meaningless without the freedom to question.

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Afterword

The charges were filed and dropped. The nativity scene has been erected annually on the same man’s lawn for several years. The last time it made the news was in 2017, when it was vandalized. My outrage at his being targeted by his neighbors initially has been shown to be not much more than my own bias showing. When you publicly mock someone’s beliefs like this, you should expect a little pushback. In the same way, and to the same proportion, as the religious should expect pushback when they put their religious icons on display in our shared government buildings, and expect that I will not want to do the same. Be prepared for Pirate Santa displays at the state capitol in the near future, if that trend continues.

The website that I saw the article on, shared on Facebook, no longer exists. It was probably just another clickbait mill designed to drive traffic and ad revenue. I’d like to think that all such bottom-feeding ends up being as profitless as publicly mocking another person’s’ beliefs is. We have that right here in the United States, the right to figuratively sacrifice the sacred cows of our neighbors. Having that right doesn’t mean that expressing yourself in this way comes without cost. I think the author on that long-gone clickbait site had the right initial take on the subject. The Nightmare Before Christmas would probably traumatise those poor folks who object to a zombie Jesus nativity.

Author: RAnthony

I'm a freethinking, unapologetic liberal. I'm a former CAD guru with an architectural fetish. I'm a happily married father. I'm also a disabled Meniere's sufferer.

Attacks on arguments offered are appreciated and awaited. Attacks on the author will be deleted.