Tag: Definition

I obsess about things that aren’t things. I do this frequently. I obsess about it so frequently that I created this tag just to talk about the things that aren’t things and the definitions of the things that are things. Because things have to be definable and definitions are important for understanding when a thing is a thing and when it isn’t.

Today’s Beef: ‘Schedule’ Should Mean ‘Reliable’

This is a purposely amorphous beef, got it?

Work schedules. I hate ’em. I’ve always hated ’em. Ditto for television schedules. Hell, just include event planning of any kind. When you say you’re going to do something on a particular date and time, then that something should occur on that date, at that time. And, if you’re going to change the date and time, you really ought to warn the people who might be anticipating the occurrence of same. Getting my drift?

Let’s say, you really want to watch that new show on Scifi channel, and they’ve told you it’s going to premiere on thus and such a date. Now, you know this is Sciffy, and you don’t want to record the hundred or so other airings of the same program, so you set the DVR (don’t have one? Get one. There’s two kinds of TV watching; before you have a DVR, and after. There is no going back from the experience) to restrict itself to the announced time and date of the program.

…and then they change it! No warning, no nothing. If the program is part of SciFi Friday, if you promote it as being part of SciFi Friday, doesn’t it make sense to leave it as a part of SciFi Friday, to aviod confusion. SciFi is just an example. ABC, NBC and CBS are worse; especially with the not-so-popular shows that tend to get shuffled around. Don’t even get me started on the subject of Fox and Firefly; or TVLand and their inability to actually start shows within 10 minutes of scheduled showtimes. What’s the point of an announced schedule if you aren’t going to adhere to it?

Or the family event that you’re expected to attend. Someone else does the planning, you’re just along for the ride. Tell me when to show up, and I’ll be there. Then they change it, never tell you they changed it, and are actually puzzled when this annoys you. “No, really, I like driving an hour for no reason, and then waiting for the rest of you clowns to show up. I want to do that more often” Common courtesy, ever heard of it?

Then there’s work schedules. Cast in stone, never to be altered, work schedules. You never have the days off that you want. Somebody else has always got better days off than you. And if you are setting the schedule, no one ever wants to work shifts outside of 8am to 6pm; and even in a 24 hour 365 day business, no one wants to work holidays at any time. They all whine incessantly. But you can’t change the schedule, because it’s the schedule that everyone has agreed to abide by.

Or at least, that’s the way it ought to be. Reliable scheduling, at least at work.

(here’s a thought, try offering cash incentives for holiday work and after hours work; and make sure the employee’s understand it’s an incentive. Or perhaps you should axe a few of the whiners just as an example to the rest of the crew. I just wish I could do that when it comes to family outings…)

It’s Called a Tuque

I’m listening to FreeTalkLive right now. I’m listening to, amongst other subjects, Ian and Mark promote the FTL store at least once an hour, and they mention the ‘beanie‘ in the store at least every other night. I kept hoping they’d figure out what the hat is called on their own, but it’s about to drive me nuts.

I catch myself doing this a lot lately. Listening to the talking heads on the radio and the TV, and correcting their English. Out loud. To myself. I think I’m spending too much time at home alone with the children. It’s either that, or the level of education amongst talking heads has taken a steep drop in the last few years.

The hat in question is called a tuque, or a stocking cap. The difference between a beanie and a stocking cap is the fabric that it is made of (also, a beanie isn’t complete without a propeller on top) and the fact that a tuque is made to keep the head warm.

You live in the Great White North now, guys. (The distance between New Hampshire and Canada is less than the distance between Austin and Dallas. How much closer can you get?) Learn the vernacular, eh?

SCTV – Great White North – Jul 22, 2010

Husband and Father

Two more words that, when I looked, didn’t have definitions that came close to describing the meaning of the word.

My dissatisfaction probably stems from the need to have the emotional weight (sometimes referred to as gravitas) of the name be communicated in the meaning.

A husband is more than just the male half of a marriage. A father is more than a sperm doner, less than god himself.

This rant is not finished. There will be more.

Isn’t it Obvious?

Every time I hear that phrase, I think yes it is. Yes it is right there in front of us, the third person just can’t see it. All over the internet (if you Google it) are sites and messages from the well meaning, angry people who know the thing in question, attempting to point out a fact or a situation that is hidden in plain view for that third person who just can’t see.

Can’t you see it? Can’t you see it? Why can’t you see it?

Why do I say the obvious is hidden? Because it must be hidden. Hidden by something. Why else would someone ask a patently obvious question? (aside from the rhetorical question. Obviously) They don’t see the answer even though the answer is right before them. This is not a mark of stupidity, it’s a perception problem.

I looked up obvious on several dictionary sites in an attempt to confirm the nuances of meaning that I see in the word. None of them seem to see the obvious differences between obvious and similar words like apparent and evident. Appearances can be illusory. Evidence reveals the evident answer.

You can be blind to the obvious, because it is in the way (as the Latin states) a see the forest for the trees type of situation. So look carefully before asking that next obvious question or be prepared to literally stumble over the answer when it is pointed out to you.

Discrimination

Having ranted on English not being the language of the US, you might find it weird that I would have a problem with non-English speakers in retail positions that require you to converse with the public.

But I do.

While I don’t think that people should be forced to learn English, I think it’s stupid to hire people who can’t speak the common language of an area for a job that requires speaking to the average customer; nor do I buy that this is discrimination in a way that is prosecutable.

I walked into an unnamed fast food joint the other day and found myself arguing with the manager (who happened to be black) about his crew’s inability to speak English sufficiently well to get a simple burger order right. He stated that “we aren’t allowed to discriminate in our hiring practices.” He couldn’t figure out why I found that funny.

Discrimination is selecting something from a larger group of something, based on chosen attributes. That’s it. If a business picks one person to work for them, from a group larger than one person, then they are practicing discrimination in making that selection. They practice discrimination against the smelly, the ugly, the untrustworthy, etc. I would like to suggest that they add ability to converse clearly in English to the list of important requirements for hiring.

Having been fired from my only stint at a fast food restaurant for necking with my girlfriend in the mop room when I was 17, hormonal and stupid (and would sooner work on a hog farm than work in fast food again) I can understand how hard it is to get even average people to do the work at one of these places. But I don’t do business with people I can’t converse with, and there are other places that know how to make a Texas burger properly without my having to explain it to them.

…in whatever language they speak.

Oh! And IMHO, the best place to get a Texas Burger is Whataburger. With Cheese and Jalapenos, Please.

Death Warmed Over

I’ve always found language (and it’s butchering) interesting. The Wife walks in the house the other day,

“I feel bad, I feel real bad. I feel like death warmed over, y’know?”

She has a college degree in English, and she talks like this. What is the value of education? And what does this mean? For the life of me, I’m sitting there wondering to myself, what is it like to feel like death warmed over? The British say “death warmed up” but that just brings the image of a hot corpse to mind. Not very entertaining, that.

But, “death warmed over” could be something like death leftovers, perhaps. The box for the last dead guy’s coffin. The trash from somebody else’s mourners; already wet tissues and crumpled programs with somebody else’s name on them. Wilted flowers not deemed good enough to transport to the gravesite. The empty bottles and food trays from the ‘really great wake’ that somebody else had.

Death leftovers. Yeah, I don’t think I want to feel that bad.