I’m finally getting a chance at some paying work again and the Meniere’s attacks are resurfacing along with the work. Yeah, it’s the stress, I know. I’m trying to take that knowledge in stride. Still, sitting and spinning at lunch and then all through the evening doesn’t lessen the stress levels if you know what I mean.
This turned out to be the last time I was hired to do piecework for a project that just needed some extra draftsmen thrown at it. I failed at even being able to do the simple task of cranking out the corrections at a fast enough rate to satisfy the customer, and they never came looking to hire me again.
Looking back on this entry from 2020 I feel an overwhelming desire to scream at that guy. Hey you! Treasure this moment, even though you feel like a failure! You will look back on even this depressing moment with longing. I would and sometimes even do volunteer to do the same kinds of work to this day. I design renovations for family, give advice on projects, just for the feeling of being useful once again. I just don’t get paid to do the work anymore. Being the breadwinner was nice while it lasted.