For the last three or four days in a row I have logged onto Facebook and found friendship invites from pretty young girls who want to get to know me. Women who want to be my friend. In each case I promptly report the profile to Facebook for review as fake, and I then delete the request and mark it as spam. All of the profiles have, amazingly, been found to be fake and are promptly removed by Facebook.
To what do I owe this talent for sniffing out fakes? The intimate self-knowledge that informs me there aren’t any pretty young things that want to get to know me better. Greasy, old, sick and poor, and smart enough to recognize all these disqualifying factors. Aside from which, if there were any pretty young things crazy enough to want a greasy, old, sick and poor smartass, the Wife would kill them anyway when they showed up at our door. I’m doing the public a service here, be thankful.